Tuesday, April 15, 2014

M is for muse

Other writers talk a lot about their muses. "Oh, my muse is silent." "My muse is so fickle." "My muse torments me so."

Listen, I won't date someone that abuses me, and I for sure am not going to let my muse do so. If your muse isn't treating you right, then kick it out. Get a new one.

Maybe your muse is a bun-haired, ruler on the knuckles, prim, proper spinster who purses her lips and glares cuttingly every time you show a bit of spirit. Or maybe it's a brooding, sullen, shirt with floppy cuffs, dark eyed brute who stays in his garret except when he ventures out to down a glass of absinthe at the local bohemian cafe.

Here's what you do: While she's at the local temperance league meeting, pack her bags, put them on the porch, shut and lock the door. As for the brute, while he's sipping his absinthe, gather his flea-infested belongings, stick them in a bag, and throw them in the front yard. Then call an exterminator to spray his room.

My point is that you're the boss. Don't let your muse kick you around. And if you take a firm hand with it, you just might find that the spinster has always wanted to let her hair down and go dancing, and that your brute loves sunshine and flowers and sometimes sings happy songs.


  1. Sound advice! Writers, revolt! Or be revolting. Or something like that, but you're in charge of these things. Don't let the creative aspects convince you they are fragile and will desert you if not treated right. If they are behaving like this, they have already proven they aren't loyal employees. With all the unemployed muses out there dying for a creative gig, don't be held hostage by one as described above!